Falling Asleep to Fake Baseball

It looks like there isn’t going to be any Major League Baseball in the foreseeable future, but if you are old enough to remember staying up late with a radio tuned to a baseball game and gently falling asleep to the dulcet tones of Jack Buck, Vin Scully, or Curt Gowdy, a Chicago-based media producer who goes by Mr. King has you covered.

The Northwoods Baseball Radio Network is on the air with no yelling and commercials at the same audio level. Mr. King has created a fictional baseball game for those needing something other than white noise to fall asleep.

Kevin Goldstein, writing for Fangraphs, has the story.

The game itself is an unremarkable one, but that’s part of the design for content meant to help you fall asleep. Calling the game on WSLP Radio from Foghorn Field is the fictional Wally McCarthy, voiced by Mr. King, whose energy level, on a scale from one to 10, never exceeds a two. Cadillac scores one in the first, three in the second and two in the third, and coasts to a 6–4 victory over Big Rapids. It features 11 walks and 10 pop-outs. There is never a reason for McCarthy to get excited. There are no errors. The one stolen base attempt ends in a caught stealing. Even the home runs are described by McCarthy as long and lazy.” Meanwhile, behind his calm-as-can-be delivery is the crowd noise, which is frequently the star of the show thanks to long pauses.

It’s really quite fun and nostalgic.

March 2, 2022


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