As it turns out, I was wrong. Elon Musk did, in fact, buy Twitter. I’m still not sure why.

Per a press release from Twitter, Elon Musk is in the final stages of acquiring Twitter.

Twitter, Inc. today announced that it has entered into a definitive agreement to be acquired by an entity wholly owned by Elon Musk, for $54.20 per share in cash in a transaction valued at approximately $44 billion. Upon completion of the transaction, Twitter will become a privately held company.

I’m not sure I care. I will likely stay on the platform, but I routinely delete old tweets and have zero qualms about it. In my view, tweets have always been ephemeral and never something to be kept for posterity. Sometimes they can even come back to bite you. Of course, anything you ever put up on the internet can likely be found, and my old tweets could be located, I’m sure. I don’t really have anything to hide.

As long as Musk does not get rid of Tweetdeck, I will stay. If he institutes a monthly cost to participate, I’ll be gone along with the millions who will absolutely not pay for this kind of “service.” Overall, I’m just not using social media that much these days, although my wife will attest I’m definitely watchinig Instagram Reels far too much.

The real question is what Musk is planning for the platform. I’m with M.G. Siegler here. What is he going to do? Who knows?

I’m not going to lie, there’s some real trepidation here as a user with this change. Mostly because it’s such a wildcard. They’re handing the reigns to their most influential user. Think about that for a second. It’s wild. The fact that he happens to be a Memelord and self-styled Goblin King elevates that to insanity. It’s like a jester who becomes king — if that jester also happens to be the richest person in the kingdom and its most iconic businessman on the side. It’s as if his entire goal in this world is to actually make us believe we are living in a simulation. But one gone awry so we can tell something is off.

So what now? Who the hell knows! I’m still not convinced even Elon Musk does! An edit button? Yes! But that was already in progress. More user verification? I guess? Less advertising? Yes please! Open sourcing algorithms? Sure, but that sounds infinitely harder than it seems on the surface. Will Twitter decentralize? Lol.

Kevin Drum also can’t quite figure out what Musk is going to do with Twitter.

Musk has made noises about making Twitter genuinely free of moderation. Anyone will be allowed to say anything they want! But he’s going to find out this is harder than it sounds. A true free-for-all will (a) lose users, who just don’t want the hassle of being trolled constantly, and (b) lose advertisers, who don’t want to be associated with a toxic cesspool. One way or another, Musk, like every other social media owner, is going to have to figure out some compromise between free speech and profitability.

I believe things could be rocky for Twitter, and this acquisition could be the beginning of the end. Just ask Google +, MySpace, Friendster, Ello, Mastodon, and Tumblr (which I would guess might be making a huge comeback now…).

If I had $264 billion, like Musk, I would not have bought Twitter.

However, I would spend $25 billion on Fox News, fire all of the current on-air “talent,” and remake the format so that it presented news instead of propaganda.

I’d spend $30 billion on eradicating world hunger and $90 billion on free education.

I would then spend $10 billion on DC Comics and all of its IP. I’d likely sell it to Disney or Apple for the same price.

I would then drop $2.5 billion and buy the St. Louis Cardinals, just for fun.

Oh, and I’d buy Mark Zuckerberg’s secret Hawaiian compound for a cool billion.