The annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest invites aspiring writers to enter the first sentence of the worst novel ever written. However, the novel need _not_ be written; only the first sentence is required.

The contest honors the legacy of novelist Sir Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, who famously began one of his books with the line, “It was a dark and stormy night…”

The winners of the 2024 competition have been announced, and there are some real doozies in there, starting with the overall winner: “She had a body that reached out and slapped my face like a five-pound ham-hock tossed from a speeding truck.”