Ray Ratto, writing on Defector, has the story on Nike and Major League Baseball rolling back the new crappy uniforms they introduced this past season. He tells it in his unique style.

Nike and MLB have apparently walked back their shitty-uniforms-are-just-as-good-if-we-say-they-are stance of a year ago, when the 30 MLB teams were outfitted as shoddily as they have since the 1940s, back when the pants were flannel and could comfortably house a regulation-sized player in each pantleg. Those uniforms looked cheap, were occasionally worryingly translucent, and shredded on first slide. The players hated the uniforms, and the fans hated buying the Fanatics replicas of those jerseys. (Fanatics is a genuinely separate problem that reminds us that “let the buyer beware” is not just an old saying but a scream in the customer’s face.)

But now the fix is finally in after a year of MLB baseball being played in uniforms that landed somewhere between hand-me-down chic and Shein-grade fast fashion disposability. In fact, when Nike’s head of global grief-absorption Denis Nolan said, “We’re listening to the players and our fans; their input and opinions are important to us," the fact that he made it seem like the user experience was a brand-new concept that Nike just invented was a reminder that Nike and MLB would like credit for both the repair and the original blunder. They even called the rollout of the new quality duds a “remediation schedule,” which for all its Superfund vibe is finally just a loftier version of claiming victory in appalling defeat—a Super Bowl winner’s ring for the Kansas City Chiefs.

The repair, which for some reason isn’t going to be ready for home uniforms until 2026, supposedly includes the thicker pre-2024 fabric made by Majestic that actually holds up to breaking up double plays and diving catches in the outfield; jerseys will once again feature larger numerals, embroidered sleeve patches, and more professional-looking team fonts. There was no word on whether the MLB people who agreed to the Nike deal are going to be told that they urgently want to spend more time with their families, which would have been a more dramatic way of falling on the corporate sword.

I am envious of Ray Ratto’s writing. He’s so funny and sharp.