Drew Magary, writing at Defector, would like Donald Trump and his minions to, ahem, shut the fuck up.

That big fat trade war that the U.S. launched a few days ago has quickly proven to have the opposite of its intended(?) effect, with every market plunging and every American’s last dollar being fed into a paper shredder. Let’s see what the man responsible for starting that tariff-off has to say about the crisis at hand:

“These countries are calling us up, kissing my ass… They are dying to make a deal.” The president went on to mock the tariff-deal supplicants, pretending to be them as he pitifully pleaded in a simpering voice: “Please, Sir, make a deal. I’ll do anything. I’ll do anything, Sir.”

Oh, shut the fuck up. Just shut the fuck up. Is that so hard? Why can’t you shut up for just two seconds? What, will you break your fucking arm somehow if you accidentally encounter silence? What kind of old man talks this much? When I’m your age, I’ll say a grand total of eight words a year, and those eight words will be the most profound shit you’ve ever heard.

He then goes on to talk about the rest of the clown car and how they are unqualified overwhelmed and dumb.

None of you people were built for this. You’re all unqualified, overwhelmed, and dumber than a post. And you think that standing behind a mic and going hurrr durrr every other country has a smaller dick than us because of these policies will make you Patton. Well, President Kidney Failure, telling everyone you’re the greatest leader who ever led doesn’t make it so. Quite the contrary. People voted for you because they were bored. Now you’re gonna bleed them dry, all while small-talking them to death. Don’t you ever get tired of talking? Don’t you run out of saliva? Is there a strategic gland reserve that you and your cronies are skimming from to keep your maws properly lubricated? You pieces of shit are wasting words, and that offends me as a professional wordsmith. I choose my words carefully before writing them down, because that’s what people are supposed to do. They are not meant to be sentient word clouds, crying FREEDOM! the second a process server knocks on their door.

But that’s what you morons do, because spouting off is the only thing you know how to do. You’re destroying the English language, a feat that not even Ryan Murphy himself could manage despite his tireless efforts. So, before you’ve successfully rendered both America and basic human communication extinct, allow me to talk for just one moment. I only need eight words, and here they are:

Everyone, everywhere, would be better off without you.

The whole thing is pretty glorious.