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Alia
My step-daughter Alia is 23 today. She has been thinking and talking about her birthday since March 22, 2018. Today is also World Down Syndrome Day, which is a day to celebrate the lives of people with Down syndrome. So, in regards to Alia, we have two things to commemorate.
Imagine a stereotypical twentysomething young woman, and you have a pretty clear picture of Alia. She loves singing and dancing. She loves doing her make-up and having her nails done. She has her celebrity crush. She wants nothing more than to be hanging out with her friends. She’s excited to start a new job. Her phone with its selfie-creating camera, text messaging, YouTube videos, and her Spotify playlist is permanently attached to her hand. Her favorite drinks are root beer, Moscato wine, and margaritas, not necessarily in that order.
She just happens to have three copies of chromosome 21 instead of the two.
Alia and her sister Brynne were part of the package when I married their mother. I thought I maybe had an idea of what I was getting into, but I was not even remotely in the ballpark. What I’ve learned more often than not is that I have a vast sum of patience, and I’ve learned to temper any frustrations I feel. Of course, I fail at this constantly. However, I’m getting better, and thankfully I have an understanding wife.
Alia brings so much joy and happiness to the house that it can be infectious. Random dance parties are bound to erupt out of the blue, especially if her best friend is spending the night.
Alia is the best judge of character, and I have learned to rely on her observations. If she warms up to you immediately, I know she has an instinctive trust. If she ignores or dismisses you, then something is always amiss. More often than not, she is spot on.
Her smile lights up any room she happens to be in. She is quick to anger and just as quick to laugh. Her emotions are always at the forefront. No one can ignore Alia.
Basically, every day is an adventure with Alia (and her Mom and sister too).
I’m incredibly lucky to get to see her grow up and become more independent. I’m proud of her accomplishments and how brave she’s been lately. Her future is wide open, and I can’t wait to see what she does next.
The Myth of Quality Time
Luke Leighfield’s newsletter linked to a New York Times article from 2015 by Frank Bruni about spending time together. After spending a long weekend with several of my wife’s family at a resort, this passage spoke to me:
There’s simply no real substitute for physical presence.
We delude ourselves when we say otherwise, when we invoke and venerate “quality time,” a shopworn phrase with a debatable promise: that we can plan instances of extraordinary candor, plot episodes of exquisite tenderness, engineer intimacy in an appointed hour.
We can try. We can cordon off one meal each day or two afternoons each week and weed them of distractions. We can choose a setting that encourages relaxation and uplift. We can fill it with totems and frippery — a balloon for a child, sparkling wine for a spouse — that signal celebration and create a sense of the sacred.
And there’s no doubt that the degree of attentiveness that we bring to an occasion ennobles or demeans it. Better to spend 15 focused, responsive minutes than 30 utterly distracted ones.
But people tend not to operate on cue. At least our moods and emotions don’t. We reach out for help at odd points; we bloom at unpredictable ones. The surest way to see the brightest colors, or the darkest ones, is to be watching and waiting and ready for them.
I hope our family time blossoms in the same way.
The Greatest Baseball Player Nobody Knows
Will Leitch, writing in New York Magazine, tells the story of one Mike Trout, unquestionably the greatest baseball player of all time, and now nobody knows his name.
There was a time that being the best baseball player made you one of the most famous human beings on the planet. That time is not now.
Trout just earned the largest contract in professional sports history, and I bet most of you probably have never watched him play more than half a dozen times.
Even though Albert Pujols burned me by taking the money and moving to the Anaheim Angels many moons ago, maybe I should call the Angels my American League team just to root for an underdog of a club with the greatest baseball player of all time manning the outfield.
Leadership
"Every semi-automatic weapon used in the [Christchurch] terrorist attack will be banned in this country."
— BBC News (World) (@BBCWorld) March 21, 2019
New Zealand PM @JacindaArdern moves to ban all military style weapons, effective immediately https://t.co/KDsydPBHM4 pic.twitter.com/8z5rUwP5eR
This should be the norm everywhere.
The “New” Social Network
Mike Isaac, in The New York Times, has a story advocating email newsletters are better “social network” than Facebook and Twitter.
For me, the change has happened slowly but the reasons for it were unmistakable. Every time I was on Twitter, I felt worse. I worried about being too connected to my phone, too wrapped up in the latest Twitter dunks. A colleague created his own digital detox program to reduce his smartphone addiction. I reckon he made the right choice.
Now, when I feel the urge to tweet an idea that I think is worth expounding on, I save it for my newsletter, The Dump (an accurate description of what spills out of my head). It’s much more fun than mediating political fights between relatives on my Facebook page or decoding the latest Twitter dust-up.
I’ve been leaning toward this for quite sometime.
With my newsletter, I saved things that I thought deserved to shared, I built up a small little audience, but I thought it was taking too much of my time and I closed it down.
I then turned to this blog to do most of what I was doing via a newsletter. I mostly wanted to have complete control over my content. Although, reading this piece makes me kinda want to restart my newsletter.
The Rise of White Nationalism
Judd Legum, in his newsletter Popular Information, takes “an unsparing look at the rise of white nationalism in the United States. It details exactly what Donald Trump has said and done to empower violent racists.”
The bottom line is it’s getting harder and harder to say Donald Trump is not a racist.
More and more I appreciate this type of independent journalism and I’m considering paying the $50 a year to get it four times a week. I think you should too.
In the Future 4
More from Nicholas Bate:
We will realise that it would have helped tremendously if we hadn’t been in so much of a hurry.
The Egg
When I read something like what Andy Weir has written, I get super jealous because it’s literally just under a thousand words of pure brilliance. I wish I had a fraction of the talent of Weir.
Read “The Egg” and then read it again.
Bel-Air
Actor and filmmaker Jerry Madison stars in this fan trailer of a 21st century version of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air made by cinematographer and director Morgan Cooper. It’s darker, grittier and amazing.
What would happen if Will Smith made The Fresh Prince today? Bel-Air, a story of a kid from Philly whose life got turned upside-down… in 2019.
I am honestly surprised this show doesn’t exist like right now. It feels like a natural partner to the Cobra Kai show on YouTube. Are you seeing this Will Smith?
We Can’t Destroy Planet Earth
Author Hugh Howey wrote an essay on his website about the definition of existential threats. It is smart with lots of observations that make a lot of sense. Climate change deniers will probably get the wrong message from it and climate change advocates will dismiss it as not quite urgent enough. Still, I think everyone should read it.
No excerpt. Just click and read.
Pi Day
For lunch, I spent $3.14 at Blaze Pizza and then bought a slice of apple pie at work with the money going to a worthy cause. I think that’s enough celebrating for one day.
Where is Illinois Headed?
This excellent piece by Brian Hamilton in The Athletic about the current state of Illinois Basketball highlights the good, the not-so-good, and the ugly. I particularly liked this passage:
…But here we have a Big Ten program in a talent-rich and basketball-loving state with a coach who won 80 percent of his games before he got to town two years ago. As a result, it’s fair to say one of college basketball’s running curiosities is Illinois either being a few particular successes away from greatness or elite-ness, or being bound to more regularly hit its head on the canopy of good enough, and whether everyone inside and outside the program would be good enough with that.
It’s also fair to presume the next 12 months will offer a hint about that. Illinois had four total wins and zero Big Ten victories on Jan. 10, and then went 7–8 to end the regular season. An epiphany, it is not. But it is better than the slog that preceded it, especially since the stretch featured the continued growth of freshmen Ayo Dosunmu and Giorgi Bezhanishvili, along with two victories over ranked teams. It also featured that Senior Night during which Indiana scissored through a listless defense for 21 layups, after what Underwood says were two of the best practices his team has had all year. A second-half collapse in a double-digit loss at Penn State followed three days later. So the last two months of the regular season essentially demonstrate both Illinois’ good intentions and what could be, as well as the maddening inconsistencies that undermine the whole deal.
The (presumably) available talent and a third full offseason of program-building, which will include an overseas trip to Italy, and a far less murderous schedule should create a pivot point by next fall. The direction of the pivot remains TBD.
The pivot point likely will be predicated on not seeing a mass exodus of transfers like last season. Because of his medical condition, I expect Anthony Higgs will transfer out. Samba Kane apparently has some academic issues, but I hope he stays and takes an academic redshirt. Kipper Nichols might be a player a lot of fans wouldn’t mind seeing transfer, but I don’t think he can do it academically because of the wonky way he transferred in.
I really hope Ayo Dosunmu does not leave the program for the green pastures of the NBA. I expect he will go to the combine and get told by plenty of coaches and scouts that he needs to get stronger, faster, add consistency to his handle, master his three-point shot, and see where his stock falls after his sophomore season at Illinois. Hopefully, a season where he helps lead the Fighting Illini back to the NCAA Tournament.
Good Things Come to Those Who Write
Nathan Barry wrote an essay about writing and attention and, from there, getting freedom and money.
The reason is simple. Writing is how you get attention. And in todays world attention is the most valuable resource. Major companies spend billions of dollars on advertising each year in order to interrupt people for a chance at getting attention for their products.
Writers get that for free. They have tens of thousands of people raising their hands to say, “Sign me up. I want to read everything you write. You have my attention.”
Then when the writer uses a small portion of that attention to promote something else that will benefit the reader, hundreds or thousands of them buy it. Writers can gather attention better than anyone else. And in today’s business world attention is the most valuable resource.
His plan is deceptively simple.
Unless you’re writing a novel, good writing is about teaching. Most of my friends who make their living from writing wouldn’t necessarily consider themselves writers. Instead they are developers, freelancers, hobbyists, marketers, designers, and business owners.
They just realized they had valuable skills and started teaching them to anyone who wanted to listen. When you start writing you don’t have to worry about crafting perfect prose. Instead you just need to focus on teaching useful skills. Do that and you’ll build an audience. Then write a book or course that is a more complete guide to your topic.
Charge for it. Use the attention that your audience gives you each week from blog posts and a newsletter to promote the new product.
And that’s how you join the rest of my writer friends in the highest paid group of people I know.
It makes me wonder what valuable skill I have that I can teach others, create a book and course, and charge real money for it.
Zero to 60
Edward-Isaac Dovere, in The Atlantic, has an interesting profile of Beto O’Rourke and his “will he or won’t he” run preamble to a possible announcement this week. The whole thing ends with thoughts on how to get the Beto Machine running if he announces a bid for the presidency.
“Everybody’s waiting with bated breath,” says South Carolina Democratic Chairman Trav Robertson, acknowledging how much interest remains in O’Rourke. The 2020 race is just getting going in the state, he says, and the other campaigns are “still all walking with baby steps here.”
But after all this buildup, Robertson says, O’Rourke will have to be able to make a lot happen, and quickly, with a team that for the most part will have only been working for him for a few days.
“What kind of infrastructure do you have in place when you make the announcement?” Robertson says. “Because you’re going to have to go from zero to 60 in two seconds.”
That’s the trick isn’t it? Right now I’d say Elizabeth Warren and Kamala Harris have the infrastructure and really seem to be running to be President. Sure, Bernie Sanders has plenty of left-over infrastructure and name recognition, but I bet he doesn’t do particularly well in Iowa.
Of course, it is far, far too early to predict anything. Although, I bet if O’Rourke does make a run, but doesn’t quite snag the nomination he’s going to be a VP candidate.
An Open Letter to the Ignored
Hugh MacLeod has penned an open letter to the ignored. It’s brilliant.
Dear Ignored,
I call you that because you’re like me, you see.
Your movie will never be bought by Hollywood. Washington will never elect you to the Senate. The New York Times will never review your book . Columbia will never offer you a record deal. Google will never buy your startup. You will never be a guest on The Tonight Show. Your paintings will never hang in the MoMA.
Like me, you will be permanently ignored by the big fish. You will never be a “Name”. You will be one of those people that the “Names” are completely oblivious to.
But that’s OK. By being “Ignored” that means nobody is watching you. That means you can do what you want, with the people you want, making a difference on your own terms.
And with the Internet, that is easier than ever. Just start. Today. Find your tribe online and give them a reason to be excited. Make it matter. Make it count. Like Seth Godin says, don’t wait to be picked, pick yourself.
Just don’t waste a second ever again, waiting for the phone to ring. The phone isn’t going to ring. This is our fate. We are The Ignored. We’re going to change the world on our terms, not theirs.
And Thank God for that.
Let me know how you get on,
Lot of Love,
Hugh
What the Hell is Going on?
Dave Perell probably has my favorite essay I’ve read of 2019. The opening is incredible.
Let’s play a game.
I’m going to describe your least favorite politician: Everything they say goes viral. The establishment despises them, donors can’t influence them, and the media can’t tame them. They’ve ignored the traditional rules of politics and now, politics will never be the same. Their success is a threat to America.
You call them “deranged, hopelessly misguided liars, who are divorced from reality and can’t separate fact from fiction.” You don’t understand how anyone could support them. It’s like their supporters live in an alternate reality. But people who support your least favorite politician say this: “they speak my language,” “tell it like it is,” and “say what needs to be said.
“Half of you think I’m describing Donald Trump. The other half, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez."
Read the rest. It’s amazing.
The Venmo MasterCard
This story by Joseph Longo in MEL Magazine is incredibly insightful about a product I had no idea existed. Then again, I’m not a drug dealer, bookie or sex worker. Still, what a fascinating product. Just what is the legitimate use?
Solid Piece of Art
Warren Ellis recently wrote about his collection of watches and, ultimately, how he feels about wearing one.
I’m at the point where I’m okay with putting the phone in my pocket and having a solid piece of art on my wrist that just tells me the time. I may finally have reached the point, here in my dotage, where just putting on a nice watch is a statement of escape from work.
I’m with Warren here. My wife got me a Citizen Eco-drive Wr100 e870-S015278 Perpetual Calendar Calibre 8700 several years ago, and I love it (this one isn’t mine, but it looks exactly the same). I saw it, fell in love with it, and she got it for me as one of her first gifts. It is a treasured possession.
Occasionally, I get a twinge of wanting an Apple Watch, and then I’ll look at my wrist and remember why I don’t want an Apple Watch when I have this beautiful piece of art in place.