Mike Isaac and Sheera Frenkel, reporting for The New York Times, has the most important story of our time: What employees of Meta will now be called by their android/alien boss.

Google’s employees are called Googlers. Amazon’s workers are known as Amazonians. Yahoo’s employees were Yahoos.

So it was a conundrum for employees at Facebook, long known as Facebookers, when the company renamed itself Meta late last year.

The terminology is now no longer in question. At a meeting on Tuesday, Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook’s founder and Meta’s chief executive, announced a new name for his company’s employees: Metamates.

I work for a company where we are called Horizonites and it is mildly eye-rolling inducing, but also a way to “brand” all employees. Metamates sounds like a fiber supplement.

Also, could you maybe worry about the existential crisis of misinformation and white supremacy Facebook has wrought upon society.