Sports
Football Will Never Stop Coming Up With New Ways To Ruin Football
I have found, late in life, that I kinda sorta enjoy watching games when they are on my television. I don’t go out of my way to watch, but sometimes it’s fun to take in a game without a rooting interest. I do not have a favorite NFL team.
On Monday, I got sucked into the Steelers/Bears game and saw one of the worst calls by a referee ever. I’ll let Drew Magary explain:
The Steelers were up three facing third-and-8 from the Bears’ 47 when outside linebacker Cassius Marsh, fresh from the practice squad and seen here looking like a weary traveler who’s about to rest after a long journey across the Dragonlands, took advantage of excellent coverage on the backend and sacked Ben Roethlisberger to give Chicago the ball back and a chance to tie, or even take the lead.
But oh wait! None of that actually happened, because Marsh dared to talk shit to the Steelers sideline from a dangerous 20 yards away. Referee Tony Corrente spotted the infraction immediately. And by “immediately,” I mean well after the offenses and defenses had started to leave the field, and after Corrente pulled a 2020 Trae Young and did an ever-so-subtle jab step directly into Marsh’s path before throwing his flag as high and as conspicuously as he possibly could.
It was a horrible call. There were others in the game too, but that one was the worst. Again, I don’t have a rooting interest. Mostly, I just wanted to point out that the link Magary pulls describing Cassius Marsh is the funniest line I’ve read in days.
Let it fly: Andre Curbelo, Kofi Cockburn lead an Illinois team ready to run and shoot
I’ve been waiting forever for The Athletic to do a feature on the Fighting Illini Men’s Basketball team since I saw the first of their “The Program” series. Brendan Quinn’s article is insightful, smart, and ends with these two paragraphs:
Underwood has established himself as one of the better coaches in the conference, and both this team and program are now built in his image. When asked recently about Illinois’ ability to get under opponent’s skin, Underwood replied, “Maybe it’s taken on a little bit of my personality. I hope so.” He added: “You have to play with a little fire in your belly. Maybe it means we’ve arrived. If people want to talk about us that way, and not like us that way, maybe it’s because we’ve stepped on toes.”
That’s indeed how the Illini play. It’s taken them all the way back to the upper-echelon of college basketball. Fact is, though, they’re still pissed about how last season ended, meaning a team that already plays with a massive chip on its shoulder is now carrying around a boulder. That edge, along with Curbelo, Cockburn and all those well-aged veterans, is enough to pen a special year in Champaign and fill Underwood’s glass to the top.
Yup. I like them to be a little chippy… not get technicals chippy, but chippy nonetheless.
The Cleveland Guardians
When I first saw it, I didn’t love it. After a bit, it’s growing on me more and more, especially after learning its origins. I have never been to Cleveland and have never heard of the ‘Guardians of Traffic’ or even noticed them in Major League (a comedy about the Cleveland Indians, among other things). Also, I read that Corey Barnes made a good case for ‘Guardians’ a year ago.
Apparently, the Guardians was one of several fan favorites going into the announcement. The name is inspired by the four art deco statues, the Guardians Of Traffic, that appear on a bridge near the team’s stadium. It’s also apparent the team wanted something that worked well with the “dians” part of the original name. I would have bet they were going to go with “Spiders” for historical and obvious cool logo reasons.
However, the new logo looks decent. It’s not Seattle Kraken-good, but it’s a cool script, even though it kind of looks like the Milwaukee Tool logo. The winged “G” baseball (the “Guardian’s Fastball,” per the team) reminds me of a bad video game graphic, and I dislike it a lot, but it isn’t the Chief Wahoo caricature, so there’s that.
I do like the new ‘C’ mark. It’s a blend of the current ‘C’ mark mixed with the new Guardians type. It’s far better than the “Fastball” logo. The jerseys with Cleveland across the front should have been in the same font as the Guardians script, so it kind of throws the whole look off.
Doing a complete brand change is difficult. I think they pulled it off pretty well. Next up… hey there, Washington Football Team …what’s it gonna be? Red Tails? Renegades? Redhawks? Generals?
Stephen A. Smith’s Racist Take on Shohei Ohtani
Drew Magary, writing on Defector, has a few choice words regarding Stephen A. Smith’s racist take on Shohei Ohtani. I have never, ever been a fan of Smith and his horribly stupid comments are really just the icing on the cake.
Shohei Ohtani could end up being the most remarkable and exciting baseball player of my lifetime, and perhaps he already is. If you watched him at the Home Run Derby last night, you didn’t need a goddamn interpreter to love him. The man’s got enough smiles and enough titanic dingers to win you over, no matter who the fuck you are. So it’s not simply that Stephen A. was wrong about Ohtani in the ugliest possible way, but that he was so NEEDLESSLY wrong. He didn’t need to be talking about Ohtani at all. But this is what happens when ESPN hitches its wagon to ONE guy, and then decides to filter everything that happens in sports through him. When I wrote that GQ profile, I was told by someone within the industry that Stephen A. was quietly campaigning for the network to replace his First Take co-host, Max Kellerman. I couldn’t verify that claim, and Max still occupies a chair opposite Stephen A. every weekday morning. But that clip above shows you that Max, in fact, already HAS been replaced. By his own co-host.
I do not give a shit about ESPN, but they should do something. I know they won’t. Magary knows they won’t. The coin of the realm is attention, and Smith does this well.
The show will go on. Everything remains content. ESPN isn’t gonna suspend Stephen A. for this. They’re not gonna fine him. They’re not gonna shitcan him. Through a combination of relentless ambition and a terminal inability to say NO, Stephen A. has become too big to fail at ESPN. A one-man take monopoly. And when you have no competing voices standing in his way, he reveals his blind spots more frequently and with virtually no blowback.
I would like Major League Baseball to prosper, and Ohtani is an amazing worldwide ambassador. Everything else is noise, and I don’t have to pay attention.
The First Real Season
Bernie Miklasz, writing in The Athletic, has a full review of the challenges St. Louis Cardinals skipper Mike Shildt is going to be facing in his first full year as manager of the club. Personally, I think how he manages Dexter Fowler and Adam Wainwright will be the most interesting things to watch. He doesn’t need to be a zen master of the bullpen, just run it smartly and efficiently.
There’s pressure, so let’s see what he can do. I feel pretty confident, but you know, it’s January. Ask me again in July.
If You Could Play Any Sport, Which One Should You Choose?
Will Leitch, in his New York Magazine column, advances an interesting question.
If we accept that the world will no longer allow for multiple-sport stars, what sport should a burgeoning superstar choose?
His only metric is the “universally accepted do-what’s-good-for-your-bottom-line” one, which is basically making a lot of money playing this specific sport. Leitch’s “mythical, hypothetical 18-year-old wunderkind” wants to maximize his earning potential and have the highest possible quality of life.
I was a bit surprised that individual sports like golf, tennis, and NASCAR did not translate into vast paydays, comparatively speaking.
His answer is fascinating. At the onset of reading his piece, I guessed Major League Baseball, but I was wrong.
The Role of the Deceased Mouse
Roger Sherman, writing for The Ringer, had this visually entertaining bit of writing in his story on Clemson throttling Alabama in the College Football National Championship.
“When did you feel that you had broken their will?” ESPN’s Rece Davis asked Clemson head coach Dabo Swinney on the championship podium after the game. Davis later asked starting quarterback Trevor Lawrence, “When did you feel that you guys had complete and total control of the game?” These are the types of questions you would like to ask a boa constrictor about the small mammal it just strangled and ate. For a decade, Alabama has been the boa constrictor; Monday, the most dominant college football program of the century was relegated to the role of the deceased mouse.I watched exactly zero downs of the College Football National Championship, and while I probably would have enjoyed the spectacle, it didn’t hold much interest for me. Sherman’s hot take―that the college football hierarchy has been upturned is probably true. I don’t know. However, I do know I wouldn’t want to be that mouse.
Sports Moments of 2018
The Ringer has a great roundup of favorite sports moments of 2018.
2018 will go down as the year when Nick Foles beat Tom Brady in the Super Bowl. It will go down as the year when J.R. Smith lost all sense of time and place. It will go down as the year when stars emerged, when legacies were cemented, and when upsets happened on par with any in history. As the year winds down, The Ringer is looking back at its favorite sports moments of the past 12 months, from Philly to Pyeongchang and everywhere in between. Here, in no particular order, are the 45 moments that stood out most to our staff, broken up into nine categories.
The Confetti Flies
This story in The St. Louis Post-Dispatch from Benjamin Hochman about when the St. Louis College of Pharmacy ended a 107-game losing streak is a must-read.
The Eutectics picked away at the lead in the second half. Wright scored 20 in the half alone, included a duo of dunks. The crowd, Harter recalled, reached “a fever pitch,” and as the former player Frazer watched from the stands, “We all decided we were going to storm the court if they won. But we had some security guards that were near us and told us we weren’t allowed to.”
Harter had gathered seven players and coaches from the women’s hoops team and headed up to the walking track, which overlooked the court.
“We started handing out those confetti cannons,” she said. “Everybody got two. We emptied out the case. We were all just waiting for that buzzer to hit.”
The St. Louis College of Pharmacy won a basketball game.
The home team defeated Lindenwood-Belleville 77-66.
Eutectic euphoria.
The confetti streams rained down upon the players and students, gleefully cheering on the court — “We went ahead and did it anyways,” Frazer said.
My father graduated from the St. Louis College of Pharmacy many, many moons ago and was on the team back them. I hope he’s seen this story.
The Golden Goose
In a move that probably made a lot of St. Louis Cardinals fans happy (I know I made a little squeal), the club acquired six-time All-Star Paul Goldschmidt from the Arizona Diamondbacks in exchange for three young players and a conditional 2019 draft pick. It was a bold, win-now move for a club that needs bold moves.
Goldschmidt is a Gold Glove-caliber first baseman and the perfect slugger for the middle of the lineup. He’s by far the best first baseman they’ve had since Albert Pujols. He was the franchise face in Arizona and he could become that in St. Louis.
Of course, right field is still a bit up in the air for the Cardinals. The team is still in on the Bryce Harper craziness. I expect them to tender a lucrative offer to make him one of the highest-paid baseball players on the planet. He still might not come, but I think it won’t be because the Cardinals didn’t make a substantial offer. Plus, if they don’t land Harper it might mean Fowler has a shot at bouncing back after a truly miserable year. He could do it. I just don’t know. Otherwise, Tyler O’Neill is your starter in RF.
The only downside with the trade is Goldschmidt is a free agent after this year―a guaranteed one-year rental. The thought is to try and get him signed after the season, but it might also be better to look at trying to get Nolan Arenado after next season. It’s nice to have options.
I’m pleased management has decided to win now, like right now. I’m sure they are looking at Marcell Ozuna and Goldschmidt’s contracts and will only sign one after the 2019 season and they may part with both, so it’s now or never.
Personally, I’d like to be rid of Dexter Fowler and find Jose Martinez a home in the American League for some bullpen help.
And, you know, sign Bryce Harper.
The Quiet Departure
Rodger Sherman, writing for The Ringer, outlines succinctly the flawed reasoning for allowing Ohio State University football coach Urban Meyer to walk away after completely mishandling domestic abuse accusations involving one of his staffers.
Being a fan of Illinois football and watching how things went down after Tim Beckman’s ugly behavior as the head coach, I’m appalled Meyer was allowed to maintain a level of dignity. Of course, when you win on the field that’s what happens.
Bounce Back?
Bernie Miklasz in The Athletic talks about last year’s performance of one Dexter Fowler. If you didn’t follow St. Louis Cardinals baseball, Fowler had one of the most abysmal performances ever by a major leaguer.
Basically, Bernie thinks Fowler, surprisingly, isn’t completely on the outs (no pun intended) with the club. However, he isn’t precisely penciled in at right field either. Fans want the Cardinals to release him, pay him his $49.5 million, and walk away. Of course, that’s not realistic. Unfortunately, his trade value is below zero.
If the Cardinals do not sign Bryce Harper to man right field, it likely will fall on Fowler to have a bounce-back season. I have no idea if he’s going to do it. No one knows.
Play Like a Girl
Eben Novy-Williams has your feel good story of the weekend.
Earlier this week, a 9-year-old California girl named Riley Morrison wrote an open letter to Curry, posted online by her father, in which she says she was disappointed to see the shoes were listed only for boys. “I know you support girl athletes because you have two daughters and you host an all-girls basketball camp,” she wrote. “I hope you can work with Under Armour to change this because girls want to rock the Curry 5’s too.”
Curry, who has been with the Baltimore-based company since 2013, was quick to respond. Thursday he posted a letter to Morrison on Twitter saying he’d spent the past two days working with the company to fix the issue. “We are correcting this now!” he said.
You can hate on the NBA, but you can’t hate Steph Curry.
Powder Blue Belongs in the 80s
The St. Louis Cardinals unveiled new/retro powder blue alternate away uniforms for the upcoming season.
I hate them with the heat of a thousand suns.
They don’t look “retro cool.” They look ridiculous.
This “idea” should have been relegated to a one-time thing. The club could still sell the shit out of them to gullible fans who want to reminisce about the good old days.
These uniforms infuriate me.
Hey, Cardinals organization… forget all this window dressing and make a move this off-season to win or watch your revenues start to go up in blue smoke.
Why the Cardinals Need Bryce Harper
And so it begins.
Fans screaming for the Cardinals to acquire Harper is right on the cusp of reaching a fever pitch. This breakdown by Will Leitch outlines all the advantages the Cardinals have and why exactly they are in this position.
The Cardinals knew they had five years to reconstruct their roster in order to have enough money to ensure that Pujols re-signed with them, so Mozeliak, who took over as GM in 2007, and owner Bill DeWitt made some changes. They brought in new head of amateur scouting Jeff Luhnow and reconstructed the entire Minor League system with a clear mandate: Produce enough cheap talent that we don’t have to pay free-agent money that we’ve earmarked for Pujols to other players. And it worked, extravagantly, in every imaginable way but one.
I hope they get him.
One of the Best Teams of All Time
The Boston Red Sox just dominated major league baseball this past season. Zach Kram argues at The Ringer the team is one of the best of all time.
Behind David Price, Steve Pearce, Chris Sale, and others, the team that won 108 regular-season games and easily disposed of the Yankees, Astros, and Dodgers has won its fourth title of the century. And there’s no new blueprint for would-be copycats, either.
They are going to be dominating for a good long while.
What the Hell Happened to Darius Miles?
Darius Miles on going straight from high school to the L.A. Clippers in 2000. Remarkable, compelling read, capturing his life’s joy and tragedy.
Trust me, you want to read this even if you’re not into sports.
The Glenn Brummer Story
Rick Hummel in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch relives the story of third-string catcher Glenn Brummer stealing home to pull off one of the most memorable plays in St. Louis Cardinals history.
It’s a hell of a read and it does make me smile when I remember it.
The End of the Monday Night Wars
I remember when the end of the Monday Night Wars happened. I was watching WCW Nitro and Vince McMahon showed up at the top of the show telling everyone he bought the company. It was pandemonium.
The Ringer’s David Shoemaker tells the behind the scenes tale and frames it like a series finale. In a very real way, it was.
That night was the last night of Nitro. It was the last night of WCW as its own entity entirely. WWF talked about reviving WCW as its own show under the WWF banner, but it never came to be. And so we were right about the stakes of the Monday Night Wars. WWF won and, a silly invasion feud aside, WCW was gone. And if WWF had ended that night too, it would have been the greatest series finale of all time. It was certainly the end of the best story ever told, because it was a story that actually mattered. For all of pro wrestling’s forced hyperbole, a story line bigger than Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant ended that night, and it was a clean finish. The last episode of WCW Monday Nitro was without question the greatest series finale of all time.